"She, she screams in silence, a sullen riot penetrating through her mind"

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 19:09:56 GMT

2 more days~

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 14:37:04 GMT

Body pump is evil

Sat, 20 Sep 2008 14:52:24 GMT

Koe-viikko

Ei.jaksa

PS. Avenged Sevenfoldin "Live in the LBC & Diamonds in the Rough"- DVD/CD aiheuttaa riippuvaisuutta ~~Brian humping the air FTW!~~

That is all

'Cause everything inside, it never comes out right

Fri, 22 Aug 2008 15:21:35 GMT

Helsingin Juhlaviikot. Kaiken pahan alku ja juuri.

Katsokaas, äiti ja isä halusi lähteä katsomaan, mitä kaupungilla oli, ja olis halunnut mut mukaan. Itse olen nukkunut vain 4-5 tuntia viime yönä, joten en minä hitto vie jaksa sinne raahautua. Eikä mua pahemmin kiinnosta.

Muttä äiti oli sitä mieltä, että mun pitää tulla mukaan.

Ja siitä se huuto vasta alkoi. Iskä ja äiti nyt yritti saada mut mukaan, mutta en mä ymmärä, miksi mun pitää sinne tulla? Eihän mua edes kiinnosta!

Ja oi, kyllä äiti oli taas kiltti ja huomautteli kohteliaasti, ettei pidä minusta:

"Kiitos taas tästä. Et sitten koskaan voi ottaa ketään muuta huomion. Etpä tietenkään, olet sellainen vitun läski, laiska yksilö. Toisin kuin rakas siskosi, sinä vaan eristäydyt, eikä sinua kiinosta uusien asioiden oppiminen sitten yhtään. Senkin vitun kakara!"

Se sattuu ihan hitosti kun oma äiti sanoo tollasta. Sitten kun isä myös rupee heittämään tollasta, kun silmistä tulee pari kyyneltä (Toisin kuin kaikki muut tässä perheessä, mä alan tosi helposti itkemään kun mua stressaa/sattuu/on vihanen jne. jne.), niin kyllä siitä tulee hyvä mieli.

Se tappelu kesti varmaan kymmenen minuutia, ennenkuin ne lähti ulos siitä ovesta ja pamautti sen kiinni.

Itse romahdin täysin ja makasin keittiön lattiala ja itkin puolisen tuntia putkeen. Mulla tulee aina paha olo tappelemisesta, mutta äidin kanssa tulee varsinki syyllinen olo.

Ok, en ehkä ole niinkuin Saara tai Sami, ei mua ehkä kiinosta Juhlaviikot, ehkä en halua viettää niin paljon aikaa vanhempieni kanssa, mutta ei kai se tee minusta huono ihmistä. Vai?
Ehkä mun pitäis olla samanlainen kuin Saara tai Sami. Loppuisko se huuto sitten?

Nyt mua pelottaa. Mitä kun ne tulee kotiin? Ne on varmaan kertonut Saaralle tästä. En mä halu, että ne vihaa mua. En todellakaan.

A7X-quiz: This or That

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 16:05:38 GMT

Spend all day with just one Avenged member or 10 minutes with all five?
Christ.
One day with Jimmy. I'd probably never forget that day...

Go to a meet & greet and no concert or concert and no meet & greet?
Consert ~~you can ALWAYS sneak backstage~~

Steal one of Matt's t-shirts or one of Brian's guitar picks?
Oooh... probably Matt's t-shirt

Sing in front of Avenged Sevenfold or sing in front of their fans?
I really, REALLy don't enjoy singing infront of people, but hell, I'll go with Avenged
Maybe they'd be drunk and wouldn't remember it afterwards?

Go on a date with Zacky or just be friends with all five of them?
Friend with all five of 'em

Get a tattoo with Johnny or perform with Avenged?
A tattoo with Johnny.
He could hold my hand

Be friends with Matt or friends with Brian?
How ami supposed to choose??

Touch Matt's mohawk or touch Brian's.. *lacking word to describe gorgeous hair*?
Brian's hair.
It's gorgeous

Hug Papa Gates or hug whoever the hell Zack's dad is?
Papa Gates all the way

Be picked for Warmness on the Soul or have one of them tell you you're beautiful?
Both are really tempting, but I'll go with the second one *blush*

Have Johnny laugh at something you say or have Jimmy make you laugh?
Jimmy make me laugh.
Because we all know that it would be hillarious

Get a bear hug from Matt or a high five from Zacky?
Hugs are good. A bear hug from Matt would be even better!

Get invited to a concert after party or invited on stage?
After party.
Easy question.

Be the star 'love interest' in a A7X music video or record a song with them?
record a song.
Because it looks lika alot of fun XDD

Announce A7X on stage or be the opening performer?
Announce 'em.

Arm wrestle Johnny or play wiffle ball with Zacky?
Arm wrestle Johnny.
Duh.

Beat box for Zacky while he's rapping or rap with him?
Rap with him, ofcourse!

Learn to play guitar from Brian or to play piano from Jimmy AND Matt?
Piano with Jimmy and Matt.
Mostly because I'm better at piano than guitar XDD

Sing with Matt on stage or dance with Johnny?
Damn, that's a hard one!
But I choose singing with Matt on stage

Get a phone call from Brian or a text message from Zacky?
Phone call from Brian.
Because I'm not a big fan of text messages

Go bowling with Matt and Zacky or watch a movie with Jimmy and Johnny?
Go watch a movie with Jimmy and Johnny.
'Cause that would be an experiens :D

Trip over in front of Matt or have a blonde moment in front of Jimmy?
Blond moment in front of Jimmy.
Because I doubt he'll mind XDD

Ride in Avenged's bus with all of them or in Matt's car with just him?
The bus, duh.

Help straighten Brian's hair or help straighten Zacky's hair?
Zacky's.
It's shorther, thus easier XDD

See Matt shirtless or see all five boys at a pool at a hotel you're staying at?
All five at a pool.
Because they're probably swimming, and thus without shirts XDD

Get an autograph from all of them or get just a hug from them?
Hugs

Get a kiss on the cheek from Jimmy or have all five think you're beautiful?
...can't I have BOTH???

See Johnny in a store while shopping or see Matt in an arcade?
See Johnny in a store.
Just to see what he'll buy :P

Meet just Jimmy and get a hug or meet all five and just get to say hi?
That's so hard!
But I'll go with meeting all five and just saying hi

Steal Brian's guitar or Jimmy's favourite drumsticks?
Brian's guitar, probably.

Get a big hug from Val or get a picture with Papa Gates?
Hug Val.
She's amazing

Have Brian notice your sign on stage or have Matt wave at you on stage?
Matt wave at me on stage.
That'd be cool

Meet just Matt and Johnny or just Jimmy and Zacky?
...I can't choose
Seriously

Have Zacky smile at you or have Matt laugh at something you say?
Matt laugh because, hell, the DIMPLES <3

Have Johnny bring you out food in the morning at a show or give them gifts?
Johnny bringing me food.
Who wouldn't want that?

Be on the tour bus at TOC with them or be on stage with them?
On stage with them

Get to go backstage at a concert or get 20 minutes alone at a meet & greet?
Backstage. Just to see what it's like.

Try to sneak onto their tour bus or try to sneak backstage?
Tour bus.
Probably alot of nice stuff to see :P

See Jimmy at KFC or Zacky at McDonalds?
Zacky at McDonalds

See Zacky dance in person or hear Johnny attempt to rap in person?
See Zacky dance in person

Have a dance contest against Jimmy or have a singing contest against Brian?
I can't dance, so I'll go with a singing contest against Brian.
Though I'd probably lose

Play against Matt in halo or against Brian in guitar hero?
Against Matt in Halo.
'Cause I can't even play REAL guitar

Go on a date with Zacky or see all five in the street and get hugs?
See all of them in the streets and get a hug.
'Cause going on a date with a guy twice my age sounds kinda weird XDD

Meet them at a concert or meet them randomly in Disney World?
Disney World.
that would be interesting :D

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 13:28:46 GMT

Why do our parents and siblings insist on controlling our lives?

Why do parents and siblings believe that we have to sit on the balcony, in the heat, when we don't want to?

Why do our parents and siblings want us to read books that we don't want to read, simply because they enjoyed it?

Why do parents and siblings keep walking into our rooms, just to annoy us?

Why do they act so supprised when we tell them that we want to be alone?

Why do parents and siblings always think they know what's best for us?

When clearly, the don't.

So please, dear family

FUCK.OFF

...woooooooow

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 14:34:46 GMT

If you have to see one band live before you die, you have to see Iron Maiden.

Trust me!

Ok, so the gig wasn't perfect. The gig hadn't even started yet and there were already drunken Finns around. And if you've heard stories about Finns being drunk...

You get the picture

So anyway, the first person to preform was Lauren Harris, daughter of Steve Harris.

And that's about it.

No, she didn't suck. But I couldn't understand what she was singing, it was so unclear. And that was kinda sad.
But the crowd took it nicely (If the actually enjoyed it, or they did it because of her daddy, we'll never know)

And then, my friends, Avenged Sevenfold came on stage.
And holy shit, they we amazing!
M. Shadows sounds amazing live
Zacky and Syn play their guitars perfectly
Johnny rocked the bass
And Jimmy beat the shit out of the drums (and screamed his lungs out)
The best part? The said something about coming back next year! (Guess who's going if it's true???)
The crowd that stood in front of the stage seemed very pleased with them.

After that it was a LONG wait, with the crowd doing the wave for about 10 minutes straight.
And then... Iron Maiden came and blew EVERYONE away

There was fire, explosions, Eddie walking on the stage and a very, very pleased crowd.
And the band seemed to be enjoying themselves as well. And they sounded AMAZING

Best night of my life. No doubt about it.

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 10:56:56 GMT

GUESS WHO JUST GOT TICKETS TO SEE BOTH IRON MAIDEN AND AVENGED SEVENFOLD NEXT FRIDAY?!?!?!?!?!

...and guess who's mom doesn't know yet? ~~Not that it matters anymore~~

Try it! Atleast for fun!

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 19:38:54 GMT

Put all of your songs on your computer on random shuffle. You HAVE to comment on every song!!
NO CHEATING!! No matter how awful the song is, you must list it here!

What does my mother think about me?
song: The World Is Not Enough
artist: Garbage
comments: I know how to hurt, I know how to kill, I know what to show, And what to conceal *sighs* Sounds like my mom

Is my life going in the right direction?
song: Off with your head
artist: Sleater-Kinney
comments: "There are many things I'm tired of", that's what she said, so she took out a knife, and said "off with my head, what's the use in knowing that the rest of me is dead, what good is a brain if it's all you got left" O.O!! That doesn't sound too good...

What would help in money problems?
song: Ladie's Choise
artist: Hairspray-musical
comments: Hey little girl lookin' for a sale, Test drive this American male, It's gonna take cash to fill my tank, So let's crack open your piggy bank *dies in laughter*

What are other people jealous about me?
song: Rape Me
artist: Nirvana
comments: Rape me, Rape me, my friend *die of laughter, again What am I supposed to say to that?!

What helps to boredom?
song: Good riddance (Time of your life)
artist: Green Day
comments:So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind, Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time, Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial, For what it's worth it was worth all the while Um... looking back at old times and not regreting anything?

What things have I not yet noticed about myself?
song: Take it away
artist: The Used
comments: I'm a worm with no more chances, And I've lost all doubt in a chemical romance ...right...

What will I be like, when I get old?
song: Push it
artist: Garbage
comments: This is the noise that keeps me awake, My head explodes and my body aches, Push it, make the beats go harder I kinda like the sound of that :D

Who/what will I have a crush on next?
song: Dear God
artist: Avenged Sevenfold
comments: Dear God, the only thing I ask of you is to hold her when I'm not around, when I'm much too far away *cries* <3

The meaning of life?
song: Friday I'm in Love
artist: The Cure
comments: I don't care if Monday's blue, Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too, Thursday I don't care about you, It's Friday, I'm in love That we should all love Friday *nods in approval*

What should I do after this?
song: Was it a dream?
artist: 30 Seconds to Mars
comments: And I know what I should do, it's time to set myself on fire ...maybe not

How does the world see me?
Song: Daddy Cool
Artist: Placebo
Comments: She's crazy like a fool, What about it daddy cool *grins*

Will I have a happy life?
Song: Maria
Artist: Green Day
Comments: She's a rebel's forgotten son, An export of the revolution Depends on how you look at it, I guess?

What do my friends really think of me?
Song: Frozen Ashes
Artist: Suburban Tribe
Comments: I don't belong, I was told to move along, tried to fit in, I was proven wrong Oh, thanks alot guys! *grumble*

Do people secretly lust after me?
Song: House of Wolves
Artist: My Chemical Romance
Comments: Tell me I'm an angel, take this to my grave Atleast they known not to mess with me >:D

How can I make myself happy?
Song: Sleeping with ghosts
Artist: Placebo
Comments: Soulmate dry your eyes, 'cause soulmates never die Oh, so I'll be happy aslong as I know that my soulmate will never leave me ones they die? I hope they'll die of old age...

What should I do with my life?
Song: St. Jimmy
Artist: Green Day
Comments: Welcome to the club and give me some blood, I'm the resident leader at the lost and found So, I should diss my old life and become a gang leader? Cool!

Why should life be full of so much pain?
Song: Song for Absolution
Artist: Muse
Comments: Tip toe to your room, A starlight in the gloom, I only dream of you, And you never knew Life will hurt as long as we won't let the people we love know about our love for them, I guess

How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?
Song: This is how I dissapear
Artist: My Chemical Romance
Comments: Can you hear me cry out to you? Words I thought I'd choke on figure out O.o;; So uh... I should talk while at it?

Will I ever have children?
Song: Medication
Artist: Garbage
Comments: Somebody get me out of here, I'm tearing at myself, Nobody gives a damn about me or anybody else Doesn't sound too good...

Will I die happy?
Song: Today
Artist: The Smashing Pumpkins
Comments: Today is the greatest, Day I've never known, Can't wait for tomorrow, I might not have that long I think I will :)

What is some good advice for me?
Song: Lost Boys
Artist: The 69 Eyes
Comments: You wanna rock, nothing's gonna make you stop, And nothing's gonna break you up That I should keep on rocking baby~

What is happiness?
Song: Walking Contradiction
Artist: Green Day
Comments: I have no belief, But I believe, I'm a walking contradiction, And I ain't got no right Hapiness is to be yourself, no matter what everyone else says

What is my favourite fetish?
Song: Scream
Artist: Avenged Sevenfold
Comments: You know I make you wanna scream, You know I make you wanna run from me baby, but know it's too late you've wasted all your time I know that it's wrong, but I'd LOVE it if someone sang this sing to me ~~and yes, you could say this is my favourit fetish~~

How will I be remembered?
Song: DEAD!
Artist: My Chemical Romance
Comments: Tongue-tied and oh so squeamish, You never fell in love, Did you get what you deserve? The ending of your life Even though I love the song, I would NOT want to be remembered like that!

Well, there you have it. Alot of songs by the same artist O_o;; I wonder how that happened. Oh well...

Feel free to post this in your own profile people!

Tue, 01 Jul 2008 16:19:31 GMT

1. Reply to this post and I'll assign you a letter.
2. List (and upload, if you feel like it) 5 songs that start with that letter.
3. Post them to your journal with these instructions

Letter J, from Danzku...

1. Jesus of Suburbia- Green Day
2. Just Like Heaven- The cure
3. Jack The Ripper- Morrissey
4. Judy Is A Punk- The Ramones
5. Jellybelly- The Smashing Pumpkins

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 15:16:37 GMT

Title: Tales from another broken home
Author: annie_dear
Rating: R?
Pairing: Gerard/Frank
Summary: Frank reminds you that Gerard is like drugs. And like a junkie needs drugs, Frank needs Gerard
POV: Second
Disclaimer: (Insert witty disclaimer here) I am making this up
Author's note: Got some inspiration from Kill Hannah's song "The Chase". And this is probably the longest thing I've ever written, so we'll have to see how it turned out. Oh, and the title comes from Green Day's song "Jesus of Suburbia"
Warnings: bad words, bad Gerard, abuse, mention of rape

He's shaking.

The small, slender body sitting on the edge of the bed is shaking, like a lonely leaf on branch in a cold, dark winter night.

He has a few tattoos. Well, a lot of tattoos. They seem to dance on his arms, those beautiful, almost magical marks.
But they're just there to hide the scars. And Frank admits (his full name is Frank Anthony Iero Jr, if you have to know), it's easier to hide the bruises with them.

With a shaking hand he lifts a lit cigarette to his dry, full lips. Lips that have had their share of violence.

A deep breath, before...

Let it all out

This isn't the first time. Oh no, far from it. Maybe the longest he's made it, but not the first time.
Oh, hasn't he told you?
He's on the run

Frank smiles when your eyes seem to widen. It's a small gesture, and it hurts the muscles in his beautiful face. He hasn't smiled in ages. He finds it funny how people immediately start to listen more intensely when he says that.

"But do you want to hear it?" he asks, his voice low and even though he may look amused, his eyes and tone tell a completely different story.
It's nothing special, he says. Just a tale from another broken home.

Because, really, he needs to tell someone. It makes him feel more like a human, a feeling he's been stripped off for God knows how long.
"There's the door," Frank mumbles, nudging to the door. "If you happen to get bored with my whining"
His eyes, however, seem to plea for you to stay.
Those golden-brown eyes, which seem to lack something. The spark you're sure he has had in them, before everything came crashing down.

He's been in this motel-room before. Well, once. But it hasn't changed much. He's still got the shades closed, letting little to none light in. But the main reason is because he doesn't want "innocent" bystanders looking in, with their curious gazes.

No one is innocent. No one. Not even you.

Frank knows this. He's been betrayed so many times, he's learned it the hard way. His best friend Mikey? Michael Way? You know him?
Doesn't matter.

Frank's misery started when Mikey introduced Frank this his older brother, Gerard.

Mikey's not innocent. He knew what went on in the house Frank and Gerard shared. What Frank can't understand is why he never helped him. Mikey isn't dumb, far from it. He's just a coward.

What did go on in the house, you ask.
Your worst nightmare, replies Frank with a tone which speaks of years of pain and horror.

You watch him take another drag of the cigarette, his hands seem to be shaking more. He offers you one, but you just shake your head. He probably needs them more than you. Even though he hasn't told you everything, you do have a pretty good picture of his past.
But you just sit across from him, in the ugly chair that's in the motel-room. Someone might think that Frank's horrors might have happened right here, in this building. Because the old, collapsing building that stands next to the deserted road looks like it's escaped from a cliche horror-movie.

Frank laughs when you comment this. His laughter is as empty as he must be.
"No," Frank says, "the worst nightmares are found there where you'd least expect to find them"

Frank compares Gerard to drugs. He can relate to those poor junkies you see on the street. He's just like them.

He's one of those junkies who you'd least expect to be addicted. He dresses nice, covers the scars and bruises, gives everyone a fake picture of his life.

Just like a junkie trying to quit, Frank has had setbacks. Frank takes a long time to answer when you ask him how often he's tried.
"Four times," he tells you after a long silence.

The first time was after Gerard had hit him the first time. Frank had yelled some threats to call the police, thinking that it might've been enough, just enough, to scare Gerard off.

It wasn't.

Instead Gerard pushed Frank down the stairs. Frank had quietly laid on the floor, in pain if you have to know, as Gerard had calmly cut "G.W" in his inner thigh, telling him it was for his own best. That everyone would know Frank was his. And only his.
After that they "Made love", as Gerard had put it. Frank hadn't wanted it, so it hardly counted as "love making"

"Do you feel sick?" he asks you, with no tone in his voice. "It makes me feel sick. Everytime I think about it"

How often do you think about it?
All the time, replies Frank and now you actually do feel sick.

The second time Frank had made it out of the house and into the car. he had started the engine, but he had never made an attempt to escape. He had just sat there, in the car, which was parked right next to their house.

Frank reminds you that Gerard is like drugs. And like a junkie needs drugs, Frank needs Gerard.

So Frank had willingly gotten out from the car. He hadn't even struggled when Gerard had pushed him into the bathroom, where Frank resewed a bloody nose, a split lip, a broken rib and mist two teeth.
After this Gerard had washed the blood off Frank with his pale, gentle hands. hands which Frank fucking loved

You see, Gerard was also good. When he got his way he could be the sweetest guy in the world. He'd often kiss Frank on the top of his head, before smiling down at him and say the three magical words "I love you".
Just like drugs.

Frank suddenly stops and looks at the clock. He's been staying at the motel for about a week, and he feels that it's now time to move forward.
He doesn't want to have another setback.

As you two walk towards the stairs, you notice that Frank stares at the carpet. You wonder that maybe, just maybe, it's a thing he learned to do during the years he's spent with Gerard. Before you get to ask though, Frank has started talking again.

He says he can't stay in the motel any longer because it's to risky. Gerard will find him, just like last time.
You're not too sure if you want to hear this, but you stay silent. You don't know this man, he's ~~almost~~ a stranger to you, but you do feel some sympathy for him.
Talking about it might make him feel a little better.

Gerard never told him how he found Frank, but you could imagine the shock Frank had felt when he opened the door to his room to find Gerard standing outside. With an emotionless expression on his face.

And before you ask, no, that was not a good sign. Gerard had simply locked the door and pushed Frank on the bed. "Don't make a sound," he had hissed in Frank's ear, and Frank just sobbed.

Once the two of you stand outside the motel, Frank looks up at the sky. There are heavy clouds dancing in the air and he says that he can smell the rain. "It'll be pouring tonight"

You ask him where he'll be heading. What should it matter to you? You've known this man for what, half an hour?
Frank simply smiles and says that he appreciates your concern. He'll make the long drive to New York

"And from there, it's an open road."

Frank doesn't know if Gerard will find him this time, or if Frank will have yet another setback on his road to recovery. He knows that if happens, he'll try again. But he also knows the bitter truth; every try to get clean takes you closer to the death of an overdose.

The chase is on

"Gerard's capable of it. Trust me. This chase will go on until I get away, or he kills me" he tells you as he enters the car. And without another word he speeds off, leaving you standing there. All alone.

As you're about to head back inside, you notice the other car.
The man sitting on the driver's seat just stares at you, and you just know what kind of look he's giving you. The sunglasses he's wearing just cover it.

You don't have to ask, you know who he is. And you know where he's going when he starts the engine and heads down the same deserted road as Frank.

Yes, you know it. It's going to pour tonight

The chase is on

**
Wow, that was HARD. i'm not sure what to think of it. Con-critic is ALWAYS welcomed!

Scream the way you would if I ravaged your mind~

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 14:10:40 GMT

Olen A7X-hupparin ylpeä omistaja <3

Ja kaiken lisäks mun ei tarvinnut maksaa siitä euron euroa

Ihan jees :D

Hellsinki Rock Shop on kyllä ihana kauppa

Muuten! Onko kukaan kiinnostunut tulla kuuntelemaan Iron Maidenia kun kyseiset herrat heittää keikan täällä Helsingissä? Ei ole lippuja, mutta keikka saattaa kuulu läheiselle kalliolle ~~ja tämähän ei tietenkään liity siihen, että Avenged avaa sen keikan~~

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 07:09:41 GMT

Wow.

Just wow

30 Seconds to Mars are awsome live!

Ok, it's not like the whole evening was perfect. We had to wait for almost 2 hour for the band to come on stage (after the two opening-acts had played) and the people I went with, well, rather boring.

They just sat there, and didn't even applaud!

But it was still good. Here's some of the things that happened:

- Jared Leto said that he'd wanted a student-cap when they arrived here on Saturday (the official graduation day), but he didn't get one. He's exact word were: "I think I might be to old for it"

-He also said that he thought that Helsinki was a beautiful town, and that we have a good amusement-park here

- During "The Kill" he jumped off the stage and ran around the crowd while singing

- Asked for requests. When I yelled "Capricorn", he actually asked everyone "Would you want me to play "Capricorn" or "A Modern Myth"? C'mon, I don't think you are socialists. You have to be democratic!". He ended up playing both.
But the real point of this is that he heard me

- Thanked the finnish opening-acts and asked us how you pronounced one of the bands name (The band was called Sara) and when he gave the mic to one of the people in the crowd, the person yelled "SAATANA!" ("Satan" in finnish) to which we all laughed. Jared's only reply was "I hope he didn't say anything bad" to which the crowd laughed again

- Jared took the same boy on stage and asked him if he wanted to be his kid brother. The discussion went like this:

Jared: "What's your name?"
Boy: "Lassi"
Jared: "What song would you want us to play next?"
Boy: "...L-a-s-s-i"

It was pretty funny. They ended up closing the concert with "The Fantasy", which sounds amazing live.

Overall it was a great show, I just wish I had had someone else to go with, because the company I had was lame.

But the band was amazing, and that was the main point!

Sat, 31 May 2008 11:55:30 GMT

Title: Such a sweet lie (1/1)
Author: annie_dear
Rating: PG-13/R?
Pairing: Implied Gerard/Frank, mention of Gerard/Lyn-Z and Frank/Jamia
Summary: She remembers hearing the stories, the rumors. About the secret touches and kisses. About the moans that were heard backstage after a big show that dripped of sweat, dirt, and ah yes, sex. The screams that could be heard behind closed doors in a expensive european hotel...
POV: Third, follows Lyn-Z ~~OMFG~~
Disclaimer: As true as my pet xenomorph, Steve (aka, NOT REAL)
Author's note: Whoa. I haven't written anything in ages! Hope you guys like it
Warnings: Bad words, implied cheating, implied sex

It was funny. She had always been told that she was a nice, pretty girl that would meet her knight in shiny armour and he'd sweep her off her feet. They'd get married and race a big, beautiful family.

This, however, must have been a lie.

Because she was far from happy.

She remembers hearing the stories, the rumors. About the secret touches and kisses. About the moans that were heard backstage after a big show that dripped of sweat, dirt, and ah yes, sex. The screams that could be heard behind closed doors in a expensive european hotel.

She was warned, alright. But that never stopped her from believing that hey, maybe, just maybe it was all a lie.

Because that's what Gerard Way does to people. He takes their hands and shakes them, giving them the most breathtaking smile and, if you're unlucky, even winks at them, and that's all it takes.

To lose it. To lose yourself to him.

She knows this, because she's done it. Standing in their kitchen, alone on a Sunday morning, she gets it. But for reasons that she can't, fucking won't understand, she isn't bothered. Why the hell should she be?

When she and Gerard had exchanged rings, she was happy. Truly happy. Because now, she thought, you're mine. I have you, and he can't do anything about it

The fans had taken it surprisingly well. Yeah, she had read about their reactions at the forums, and she was pleased. No reason to be hated just because you're married to an amazing man, right? But when a fan made a comment, either a joke or a serious one (Who knows), about how she looked like him, she wished she was hated.

Because then the angry comments that dripped of poison might have hurt so bad that she might not notice the awful sting of the truth.
The truth that she'll never have Gerard, not the whole atleast. Frank will always be first, no matter what.

She pours a cup of coffee, but doesn't drink it. It's not for her, it's for her husband. Who should be home. With her. In their bed.

But he isn't. He was with Frank. Had been all night.

At first she had a hard time to understand how Jamia coped with it. Knowing that her then boyfriend, now husband was fucking some other man. But now she realized it, it was just as it had was with her and Gerard now.

She and Jamia simply chose to ignore it, because if they looked at the truth, then they couldn't look at their husbands in the same way. And that would hurt like fuck, it would be worse than any PMS or rough hand squeesing your breast when you're trying to do a stage dive.

She'd lose him. She'd lose Gerard. To him, because then there would be no barriers to keep them apart.
She didn't want that to happen. Better live in this beautiful lie than let them have their sweet escape.

The two arms that wrapped around her waist felt both familiar and unfamiliar. The chin resting on her shoulder felt both comfortable and uncomfortable. The warm breath on her neck felt both lovely and disgusting.

"I love you"
Another lie that brought Lyn-Z down to her knees.

She turns her head and kisses his smiling lips. That wasn't a fake smile he was wearing, she told herself. Gerard didn't smell of Frank, either. He hadn't tried to cover it with Frank's cologne.

Such a lie

She made a mental note to ask Jamia what cologne Frank used, because if Gerard used it more often, then maybe it wouldn't make her stomach twist at the thought of what her husband had been doing with the younger guitarist.

Such a sweet, sweet lie

Whoa. Dark. Con-critic is always welcomed!

For what it's worth it was worth all the while

Fri, 30 May 2008 13:41:16 GMT

Damn.

Time moves fast, doesn't it?

My school ended today.

Ok, ok. Maybe it's not a big deal, because hey! Two years from now, I'll (Hopefully) be a graduate, but still...

Last fall I didn't know anyone at my school, but now...

Damn. There are alot of people I'm not going to see until next fall

*sniffle*

Summer~

Mon, 26 May 2008 14:55:26 GMT

My test-week ended today. And you know what that means?

No more school for me~

What Your Taste in Music Says About You

Your musical tastes are intense and rebellious.

You are intelligent... but in a very unconventional way.

You are curious about the world. You love doing something new.

In fact, you enjoy taking risks and doing things most people would shy away from.

You are very physical. It's likely that you're athletic, but not into team sports.

You have the soul of an artist. Beauty and harmony are important to you.

What Does Your Taste in Music Say About You?

Spam!

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 19:31:56 GMT

I was just surfing YouTube the other day ~~when I should have been working~~ and I came across this lovely video which I just have to share with you guys:

Evrytime I start doubting love, I always remember BJ and 80, 'cause that's true love. I mean, is there any cuter couple?

But, then I also came across another video.

Yes, it's slash...

But hey: Slash: Fiction with Friction

Yeah, try not to think any dirty thoughts...

AND! i even found a third video, which is my favorite:

I'm normal, ok?

*in a Monty Python-voice* And now for something completely different...

I'm going to see 30 Seconds to Mars!

Sure, I missed class when I was getting my ticket, but hey! It's worth it!

I've also been listening to Avanged Sevenfold ~~and noticed that they also have a slash-forum her on LJ~~ and I think they're great. If you haven't listen to their music, try it!

Now, because I've most likely stolen some of your time from you (I'm sorry about that), I have to go and get some sleep (Even if I have no school tomorrow (IN YOUR FACE PEOPLE)).

G'night!

Sat, 26 Apr 2008 10:28:07 GMT

So, how are you guys doing? I'm fine.

Yesterday I dyed and cut my hair. It looks kinda like Gerard Way's hair during the Taste of Chaos- tour. Cool, no?

The Westboro Baptist Church suck ass. Can't they all just go and shoot themselves, so we can live in peace? Racist bastards.

Sorry. Just needed to get that out of my system.

And the fact that I have the flue doesn't help.

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 17:58:18 GMT

Title: On the phone (1/1)
Rating: Pg-13/R? I'm not good at these...
Author: annie_dear
Pairing: Gerard/Frank, mention of Frank/Jamia, mention of Gerard/Lyn-Z
Pov: Third
Summary: "There's no need to use that bullshit on me. We might, just might have had a chance in the past, but it's too late now. Now all we have are those moments when we can be 100% sure no one finds out"
Disclaimer: Not true, I hope...
Warning: Bad words, cheating, implied sex, drama ~~Nothing you guys can't handle~~

He had tried to phone Frank twice this morning. Or was it three times? He had no idea. Neither did he really care. He knew Frank.

Frank was most likely just teasing him, the brat he was.

Or then he was fucking Jamia.

Which meant that Frank was teasing him.

What a brat.

Gerard couldn't understand why he disliked to use the words "Jamia" and "wife" together. Because hey, it was bound to happen some day. Frank had Jamia before he even met Gerard. Which, of course, meant that he and Frank could never be open about their relationship.

Or affair. For Gerard it was mostly about the sex ~~and the feelings he had for Frank~~

"What do you want?"

Frank's voice on the other side of the line brought Gerard back from his thoughts.

"Frank. I need you"

Laughter. The smart ass was laughing. "Don't you all? What, wrote another "amazing song" and you need me to come over and listen to it?"

Gerard rolled his eyes. "No. Frank, I..." he took a deep breath. God, why was it so hard? It had been so much easier when he had been drunk. "I-I fucking need you"

The silence that followed lasted for hours. Or so it felt. Gerard held his breath until he heard Frank speak again.

"What about your wife? Isn't she there to take care of all your needs?"

Gerard rubbed his forehead. Frank really knew how to bring him down. "No, she... we had a fight. She's staying over at a friends"

"...Oh." Gerard barely heard it. "I'm sorry to hear that" No emotion in his voice.

"No your not, you're just happy about it" Gerard whispered, not really realizing what he'd just said.

"True. I don't understand why you married her"

Gerard laughed bitterly. "Because she's amazing and loved me?"

"But you don't love her"

There he goes again Gerard thought. bringing me down

"But she's there for me when you're not"

Frank snorted. "Because she has to, she's your wife"

Gerard frowned. "You're there for Jamia, even tough you don't love her anymore that you love me"

"No. But I'm her husband, Gee"

Another silence, before Frank's barely audible voice was heard "Come to my house"

Gerard's eyes went wide. "Wait, what?"

"I said, come to my place. Jamia's not home, she's at work. She won't be back in hours."

If Gerard had had any guilt for what he and Frank had been doing behind Jamia's back (and if he had, he had most likely been abel to push it out of his mind), it came back to haunt him. The way Frank said it made it sound like they were doing something so bad.
But weren't they?
"Frank, I'm sorry. If we'd just-"

"Shut the fuck up" Frank's voice snapped. "There's no need to use that bullshit on me. We might, just might have had a chance in the past, but it's too late now. Now all we have are those moments when we can be 100% sure no one finds out" Even though Gerard was sure that Frank tried to hide it, he heard the small sob before Frank, now his voice thin and broken, spoke again:

"So, are you coming or not?"

"Yeah" Gerard didn't think twice. "I'll be there in half an hour"

"Ok. And Gee?"

"Yeah?"

"I'll be waiting"

He hang up.

Gerard got up from the couch and pulled on his jacket. When he first called Frank, all he had wanted was some nice sex. But now, things had changed.

Now all he wanted was to try to fix his and Frank's relationship.
And possibly Frank, but he doubted it.

Any Good? Bad? Con-critic is always welcome!

Do you have the time to listen to me whine?

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 18:41:36 GMT

I'm so fucking pissed off at everyone and everything. Don't ask me why. Just... don't

Despite all my rage am I still just a rat in a-
Despite all my rage am I still just a rat in a-
Despite all my rage am I still just a rat in a cage

Tell me I'm the only one
Tell me there's no other one
Jesus was the only son for you

Ever heard a song that blows your mind away and litterally tells you exactly how you feel?
That's the song for my mood.

And I still beleive that I cannot be saved

Mr. Corgan, you own my soul at the moment.

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 06:13:27 GMT

Today my school starts at 12.50 and ends at 14.05.

I have one fucking class

Useless, no?

Sat, 22 Mar 2008 17:54:43 GMT

Title: Blood is spilling everywhere
Rating: R/NC-17? To be safe
Author: The crazy Finn herself, annie_dear
Pairing: Gerard/Frank, mention of Frank/Jamia
Pov: Third
Summary: I heard that in ancient China, a geisha would cut off her little finger and give it to the man she loved. Would you do that, Gee-baby?
Disclaimer: Yes, I own Frank and Gerard, thank you very much. They're locked inside my head and I "lost" the key. (Aka, not true)
A/N: I was watching "Sweeney Todd" and then BAM! I got an idea! But uh...this is pretty gory and uh...pointless? Consider yourselves warned.
Warning: Bad words, blood, cannibalism, insanity (NOT for the faint-hearted!)

Frank didn't remember how they got here.

He remembers getting into Gerard's car and asking him if he'd brought all the knives they'd need for the evening. He also remembers Gerard smiling and telling him to relax, the night was young and he had brought everything with him.

Frank also remembers Gerard driving down the old road leading to the abandoned house, where they always had these "sessions", as he and Gerard liked to call them.

But how they'd ended up like this, that Frank couldn't remember.
All he remembered was the pain, the fucking painful pain when Gerard had cut off his Jamia-tattoo.

Had he known Gerard would go that far, then he would've said no, Gerard could go and cut off his balls for all he cared. Screw Frank's sick, twisted side who loved, craved the pain, he didn't want to have a a piece of his fucking skin removed.

But they'd done this enough, Frank had blindly trusted Gerard.

So, Frank thinks, his mind slowly clearing, his nerves getting used to the pain, that's how we ended up here

Frank leaning over the rusty sink, emptying his stomach, the only sounds that could be heared were his heavy breathing and his own blood slowly dripping onto the dusty floor.

No one had heard him scream, that's for sure.

But how he'd managed to rush into the former kitchen in time to throw up, when Gerard had smirked that famous, oh so sexy smirk, and put the bit of flesh he'd cut off into his mouth and mouned how good he tasted, was still a mystery to Frank.
The image made him want to throw up again.

Gerard smirked when Frank walked back into the room and sat next to him.
"Why'd you do that?"

Gerard kept smirking, the drying blood still staining he right side of his mouth. "I wanted to know what you taste like, Frankie. And besides," he kissed Franks bare shoulder, "now I'll always have a part of you with me, babe"

Babe. The short pet-name made a shiver go through Frank spine. The fucker, he knows he can get away with anything if he calls me that "But Gerard, it fucking hurt"

"You loved it," Gerard purred, before kissing Frank's neck. "You enjoyed it as much as you enjoy me fucking you in the shower when Jamia's in the kitchen, making coffee"

Even tough it was sick, Frank didn't deny it. "What are you going to give me Gerard?"

Gerard grinned "Anything you want."

Frank chuckled, before turning to look at his lover. "I heard that in ancient China, a geisha would cut off her little finger and give it to the man she loved. Would you do that, Gee-baby?"

If I cut off your arms and cut off your legs
Would you still love me anyway?
If you're bound and you're gagged, draped and displayed
Would you still love me anyway?

Ooookay... now most of you people are probably thinking that I'm a creep, but remember: con-critic is always welcome!

Help?

Sat, 22 Mar 2008 14:13:18 GMT

Ok, I have a few problems going on and I was wondering if anyone out there has any good advices

First problem: A close friend of mine suffers from panic attacks. She usually get's one before or after en english-class, because she always get so nervous when it comes to english. Me and my other friend have tried to convince her to talk to someone, but she refuses.
So far me and my friend have kept this a seacret, but now I've started to feel like a bad friend, because I can't do anything when the attacks come.
so, my question is: What am I supposed to do? Should I go and talk to the teacher? And what should I do when these attacks come? All I seem to do is hold her and tell her it'd gonna be ok, and I feel like shit 'cause I can't make it stop.

Second problem is that I'm feeling really paranoied. I mean, everytime someone talks to me, i always (secretly) question their motives. i don't trust anyone, my friend or my family, and I always fear their talking shit behind my back.
Am I going crazy?

Sun, 09 Mar 2008 17:10:28 GMT

Title: Here's to the nights we you felt alive
Rating: Um..R? To be safe
Author: Me, annie_dear
Pairing: Gerard/Frank, Gerard/Lyn-Z, mention of Frank/Jamia
Pov: Third, follows mostly Frank
Summary: Are you willing to be had? Are you cool with just tonight?
Disclaimer: Well duh! As true as my hair-color.
A/N: Inspired by Here's to the night by Eve 6. And before anyone asks: No, I do not hate Lyn-Z. I think she's cool. This is just a work of my imagination.
Warning: (Implied) cheating, implied sex, bad words

"I'm sorry..."
"It's ok. I forgive you." But the truth was far from it.

In fact, Gerard was still angry at his wife. He was angry at the fact that she could never close her legs, on stage or in the bedroom. For him or random men.

But that was the past. There was no returning.

The sunlight came through the window as the bus kept its steady pace, the married couple sitting by the window, looking at the views. Lyn-Z sitting on the window-seat, Gerard on her left. He had his right arm around her, keeping her close.
Bob was in the back playing music with Mikey and Ray sleeping in his own bunk.
Brian was surffing the net and the radio was playing in the background.
Everything seemed normal, almost happy.

It was making Frank sick.

"I-I can't believe it Frankie...!" sobbed Gerard. "Sh-she's cheating!"
Gerard pulled him into a hug. "Man, it's ok"

But Frank knew the truth. It wasn't ok. It would never be ok.

Frank didn't want this to happen. He didn't want to find Gerard outside when he was going to have a smoke. He didn't want Gerard to be crying. He didn't want Gerard to look for comfort in him, because Frank knew it, even tough he loved the man, it would always end in the same way.

Frank knew this.

Frank sat across from them. He had been sitting there with them, simply watching them.
And, without them knowing it, watching Gerard break his heart with her.
And when Gerard would kiss her on the neck, right there, in front of him, Frank couldn't help but to feel a ton of jealousy fall on him, like a ton of fucking bricks.
And more of last nights memories returned to tease him.

"G-Gerard-" Frank whimpered, when the older man had him pushed against the door, kissing, sucking and, oh God biting his neck.
"Are you ok with this? This one night?"
Frank swallowed. "Gee, we've done this enough. You know my answer." With that he pulled Gerard's shirt of him and threw it across the room.
This wasn't their first time, and it wouldn't be their last time, for the matter. Everytime Gerard had a problem, Frank would always help him in any way he could.
Even if it meant going behind Jamia's back. But he didn't care. He loved Gerard. Loved
And if this was the closest he'd ever be to Gerard, so be it.

"Oh God Frankie!" Gerard moaned when Frankie thrust his hips forward, rubbing against Gerard. "I love you. I love you so fucking much!"

Frank smiled, closing his eyes. He wouldn't let Gerard see the tears that where threatening to fall.
How much he'd tell himself what those three words , he knew Gerard's "I love you"'s would never mean the same as his.

And when Gerard later laid him on the bed oh so gently, he let a few tears escape, because he knew he'd most likely wake up alone the next morning, feeling used and dirty, like he always did after spending a night with Gerard.

Frank knew this.

And when they both had their climax, when Gerard kissed away his tears and whispered one of his "I love you"s, Frank wanted to die.

Frank looked down. He couldn't bring himself to look at the two. Besides, he knew what was going on. Lyn-Z's giggles were pretty obvious.

Frank smiled to himself. If this is how it was supposed to be, then let it. if he was going to be Gerard's lover, then so be it. He couldn't make Gerard love him, and he had made peace with it.
He'd continue this play as long as he could, and if it all came down on him, then he'd pull Gerard with him.
But until then, he'd be sitting on this buss, drinking ~~Mikey's~~ his Coke Zero, like he always did.

The buss continued its ride along the open road.

There. Did you like it? Con-critic is always welcome!

Sun, 02 Mar 2008 17:39:26 GMT

Title: Butterfly (1/1)
Rating: Um..R? To be safe
Author: Me, annie_dear
Pairing: Frerard, duh
Pov: Third, Gerard's
Summary: Gerard liked butterflies. Gerard liked Frank. Frank was his butterfly. He was Frank's human
Disclaimer: Sure! As real as the fact that I'm under your bed singing "Sweet Transvestite"
A/N: Two months ago i saw "Madame Butterfly", and I was inspired...
Warning: Blood, murder

Butterflies.
Some believe that a butterfly's wings might cause a tornado on the other side of the planet.
Dangerous, even in that small size

Some of them use cryptic coloration to protect them, so that predators' will leave them alone.
Small creatures that are feared and left alone. Simply for their looks

Humans. Young humans are know to rip of the wings of a butterfly. Humans are known to capture butterflies. Take them, put a needle through them, and simply put them behind a glass. To preserve their beauty and keep them from flying away.
Small, fragile creatures taken by the monsters. Monsters that are struck by their beauty

Gerard liked butterflies. Gerard liked Frank. Frank was his butterfly. He was Frank's human.

So that's how they had come to this. Gerard standing by the window, looking outside at the garden. At the butterflies that danced with each other in the sunlight.
Frank laying on the white sheets, head turned to the right, eyes wide open. A small trail of blood running down his chin, staining the white sheets on the bed.

Gerard was smiling. Frank was his butterfly, and being the oldest child, he had grown up sharing everything with Mikey. Gerard didn't like to share.

He slowly turned around and made his way to the bed. Crawling next to his now cold butterfly, he wrapped his arms around Frank's waist and buried his face into the black curtain that was Frank's hair.

There had been no real romance between him and Frank, but neither had there been one between Pinkerton and Madame Butterfly, but Butterfly had waited for Pinkerton.
And now, Frank was going to be his Butterfly, and wait for him. Gerard would never have to come home to and empty house, because Frank was going to stay here, in their bed.

Gerard closed his eyes and smiled. He brought his lips to Frank neck and kissed his cold skin. "Don't worry my butterfly, I'm not going to leave you..." He moved his head so his chin was now resting his chin on Frank's. He closed his eyes, before he began to sing softly:

Some truth there is in that,
And can you tell me why?
That you may not escape.
See, I have caught you...
I hold you as you flutter.
Be mine....

Sooo, what did you think? Con-critic is very welcome!